Skip to main content

Oh, How He Loves Us


I'm listening to that song now because it was rattling around my head for six straight days -- first as I struggled to overcome a stomach illness and lay sleepless in the tent in the middle of the night, then as I gasped for air on my way up to 4,500m, continuing on my way nearly straight up the col to our summit, and then as we safely descended through the hail storm to stable ground.

Mom emailed to let me know she was thinking about me and all the changes and goodbyes surrounding life now. I felt these keenly as I hugged a dear friend, not knowing when we'd meet again, and as the bus drove along the Beas River through the Kullu Valley -- a place that chronicles my love story with India. I explored the heights four years ago and left, determined to return and invest in a community that set my life on a new course. I returned a year later to my Himachal and worked for a year in development. Somehow the city sucked me in and I spent the last two years yearning for more time in the Himalayas. My heart broke a little as the bus carried me away yesterday. We often wish we could pull all of life together and have everything, all at once. We get to choose what we embrace and the life we create yet I'm experiencing life's delicate balance. Sometimes we can want two very separate things and must choose one path.
And amidst this heart rending tumult, God sweeps in and quiets our hearts. I spent a week in the wilderness on an expedition to climb Shetidhar Peak. While the guys were scoping out our next day's climb, I was lying in the field below, weeping at the thought of God's great love for us. My eyes scanned the grandeur surrounding me and I cried in humility, while receiving His grace, and recognizing God sometimes drives us to lonely places so He can remind us that He's really all we need. I strive to accomplish and earn lofty titles but these things don't hold eternal sway. God's measurements are vastly different from man's and it did me good to be reduced to little amidst His greatness in order to renew my perspective and focus on Him.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Rare Disease Day 2024

Today's Rare Disease Day. There's sometimes a particular weightiness to life with a rare disease. All the appointments, emergencies, traumas, doctors, therapists, medicines, opinions, schedules and upset schedules. My touchpoint is being mom to my precious girl with Wiedemann-Steiner Syndrome  (WSS). You'd have to spend a day or week shadowing me to know what it's really like. Doesn't that sound alienating? As though you couldn't possibly imagine if you're not living it? Well, maybe. But think about a time of immense grief you've lived through, or a time when your world seemed to be falling apart around you and it felt like everyone else was completely unaffected. I suppose it's a bit like that. You might have thought that those around you couldn't possibly know how that experience felt to you. A couple weeks ago, I started keeping a list of all the extraordinary things that happened in my life due to my daughter's rare disease. I learned a c...
1 comment
Read more

Startup Day 875: piloting in New Haven

Iteration is emblematic of startups. For example: From last year's pilot , we learned that parents and adults with disabilities were looking for recommended resources.  We built the Empowered Together app and tried crowd-sourcing those recommendations.  In our New Haven pilot, we're bringing database building in-house by listing accessible food, arts, and recreational businesses in greater New Haven.  Thankfully, we have thought partners in this endeavor at the City of New Haven and at community disability orgs. We are working with a Quinnipiac student and awaiting word on additional grant funding. We're taking the right next step in changing the social system to be accessible and inclusive of People with Disabilities.
Post a Comment
Read more

How I Got a Blister from a Cowbell

The bullhorn sounded and he was off, swimming his heart out, across a 50m stretch of lake as deep as his arm is long. My youngest, William, competed in his third year of the  Race4Chase  triathlon in August. When we first applied, I reflected on how I hoped this triathlon camp would allow Will to do something that was entirely his. It would be an opportunity to spread his wings apart from his sister's influence. For siblings of kids living with disabilities, this kind of autonomy is life giving. Back at the lakeside, I was watching Will from a distance and ringing a cowbell like no ones business. Will ran up from the waterfront and we cheered him on. He transitioned to the bike portion and we cheered him on. When he came into view at the end of the bike and transitioned to the run, the final segment of the race, we cheered him on. All the while, that cowbell was clanging. When Will sprinted across the finish line, there was no stopping him (or the cowbell). Thinking about...
1 comment
Read more