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funny old people

Poppi to me: Do you know any posses in India?
Me to Poppi: Hmm, we don't really have those in India.
Poppi: Really, no posses?
Me: No, no posses . . . oh, oh, Parsis. No, I don't know any Parsis in India but I know there are many there.

We went to visit Grandma Supple during the annual family reunion. When we arrived at the old folk's home, Grandma was telling the nurses about some terrible tragedy. We wheeled her into a sitting room and offered to sing her favorite song. We collapsed in hysterics as we sang, "White Christmas." That was her favorite song last time Aunt Amy visited. This time, Grandma was worried about missing the movies and said, "I'm not trying to be rude but I really need to get going," as she tried to rise from her wheelchair.
We opted to wheel her down the hall to the "movies," aka the community room playing a movie conveniently set in the 1950's. Then Grandma wanted to pay for her movie ticket and began pulling her pockets out of her pants, pockets empty. Then Lisa handed Aunt Amy $5 which Aunt Amy deposited in Grandma's pocket. Grandma protested that it was Aunt Amy's money but we convinced her otherwise. Unfortunately, $5 wasn't enough to pay for ALL of us so Lisa passed a $20 to Aunt Amy who again deposited it into Grandma's pocket. Mom joked that this might be a convenient way for Grandma to fleece us of some spending cash. Grandma was unconvinced she had enough but Lisa created a receipt to show Grandma that she had paid for us all.
Grandma began asking where the baby was. After 22-year old Jackie tried crying like a baby (which Grandma didn't buy), Jackie found a toy doll in a bin in the corner. Grandma asked, "where are its clothes?" Jackie found a blanket and wrapped the "baby" in its new found clothes. We were told dinner was being served. Grandma was concerned we were leaving the baby behind so Mom carried it along. Grandma told us to be careful to not get caught; "they don't allow babies here," she said.
Grandma was convinced she had already eaten and grew increasingly concerned that her (long since deceased) husband would worry about where she was. We wheeled her out of the dining hall. She refused to go in her bedroom so we settled around her in the hallway. She began whimpering about Grandpa Supple. All our soothing couldn't calm her, not even telling her "Jesus is coming for you" helped. We began singing Amazing Grace; she continued whimpering. Aunt Amy said she couldn't leave Grandma like this. I said, "she doesn't even know whom we are and she'll be like this whether we're here or not." I'm not known for my compassion. Grandma actually did remember Aunt Amy as we said our goodbyes, though Grandma told Lisa to send greetings to Lisa's mother (who was standing right next to Lisa). Grandma's parting words: "We should do this again sometime."

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